Who says the Rapture didn’t happen?

Who says it didn't happen?

Just because we’re all still here doesn’t mean the Rapture didn’t happen.

Consider the all the greedy, mean, hypocritical, lazy, envious, judgmental, selfish, dishonest and intolerant people you know.   I don’t know anyone, including myself, who hasn’t had one or more of these qualities at one time or another.   Although the fast track to paradise has it’s appeal, it seems a bit presumptuous to assume any of us deserves it.  I can easily imagine the Divine coming for a visit, taking a good look around the violent, polluted mess we’ve made of Earth and wondering, “Bring the creators of this into my home? What was I thinking?”

Now that that excitement is over, I’ll continue blogging.

First, let me bring you up to date.  I got my money back from the bank sans interest.   The check, which included the stolen mortgage payment, an escrow refund plus a little bit extra interest refund for paying the mortgage off a couple of days early, amounted to a nice chunk of change.  I quickly hid it in a savings account before my evil spendthrift twin got wind of it.

I’ve made a few discoveries during my first month of frugality

1.   I have an evil spendthrift twin.  This profligate ingrate isn’t at all pleased with my frugality plan.  She was quite happy buying things thoughtlessly and needlessly and she tries to make my buy things using  distraction and rationalization techniques.   She’s taken over my short term memory.  I’ll be driving home from work planning the dinner I’ll prepare.  Next thing I know I’m in Eatzi’s parking lot ready to buy a carryout meal.  I’ll pull out of the parking lot and head home again only to start thinking about stopping at Whole Foods for a slice of pizza (okay, two slices of pizza).   So far, I’ve reinhabited my mind-body prior to purchase in most cases, but she seems to be upping the ante.  I’ll keep you posted.

2.  Groceries cost money!   Somehow, in my plan to quit buying meals at work and prepared carryout food, I only counted the money I would be saving.  I completely spaced on the cost of groceries.   My previous grocery shopping costs amounted to occasional stocking up on produce I would use once and then compost at some later date, chicken and fish much of which is still at the bottom of my freezer, eggs, cheese and yogurt.  When food bank requests arrived, I’d donate my unexpired canned goods and jettison those items suggesting  use by 1997.  Rarely did I spend more than $20 at a time and that wasn’t even once a week.  What a shock to find myself having to go to the grocery store to replace what I’ve eaten! 

3.  An example of a direct ratio:  excessive lettuce chewing and TMJ inflammation.

4. Craigslist attracts deadbeats.  What’s with people who text you all week and again two hours before the scheduled assignation and then they don’t show up.  No phone call.  No text.  And I’m talking about the seller!  Now that I’m ready to sell a few things I’ve unearthed from my closets and cabinets, I’m pondering the best way to do it.

I will share this process

5.  Don’t bother trying spinach-in-a-jar. 

6.  I wake up happy.

Well, dear reader, I’m off to bed to dream one of my very vivid dreams, which I will share in a future post.  May you have sweet dreams and wake up happy too.